Monday, November 21, 2005
it's been ages since i have last blog here..
well, things has gotten from bad to worse.. somehow or rather i just can't keep my mouth shut.. as a result i have hurt my love ones such as my family, my friends, u name it, i've already done it... wat the hell is wrong with me??? this sharp pain has return after for so long... it was so painful that i have to punch the wall again.. and again.. and again. i wanna yell out for help bt i believe it's pointless..
now i'm in the canteen stoning and blogging... just have too many things to think abt too many things to worry about,.. that i do not know where to start... i prayed asking god for mercy bt everyday life didnt seem to improve.. the whole world start to collaspe onto my head. u may think it's dramatic or i'm bullshitting around but it's pretty unbearable now..
now my love one has actually going to forsake christ.. the one who actually brought us together.. his faith is diminishing.. bt yet uncontrollable... i cant force him i'm trying to accept the fact
but the truth hurts
trying very hard to deal with it .. i dunno who i can turn to now..
aiyah in other words my life is pretty screwed up
i wish there is training today so tat i can torture myself to death bt sadly training is cancelled...
there's nth for me to do to release anger on
do i have to bring myself to smoke again? NO WAY i better not!
i guess suffer in silence and deal it all by myself ALONE.
why lord... why..
in misery
MicH