Sunday, December 18, 2005
another lonely sunday for me today...with bloodshot eyes, stoning in mass today... condition from bad to worse..although i tried my best to put a smile to everybody...bt deep down my heart can't stop crying... first i upset my friends.. now i have upset my mom,, she broke down today because i have neglected her.. i guess i'm a terrible being.. she even want me to get out of the house.. because me staying at home or not makes no difference, like a stranger in the house.. who does nt talk.. bt the thing is, im just so exhausted, mentally.. common tests are coming, ivp is coming too.. the late trainings... i need some time management lessons...
not being a wise guy/gal watever... i realli need to destress myself.. so..badminton, here i come, i'm going to give my all to the training .. i'm going to beat myself to it...
i wanna learn to be a better person.. not onli for my family, friends ,my love one...bt for myself..
i think i've been a jerk lately...
sorry to those out there who i have hurt without knowing... please be patient with me..
feeling so drained now...
see nothing but black and white
the nightmare is back to haunt me
the wicked voices in my head telling me wat a loser i am
i'm too weak to stand up for myself
i'm tired of fighting it back
i'll just let it burry me alive...
lord have mercy...
MicH